A sneak peek inside the new pro-life book God Moments III: True Love Leads To Life.
From Chapter 9: Restoring a Culture of Life
Something Men Should Know
By Sean McVeigh
Thunderclaps filled the air and lightning struck
relentlessly all around our house. It was the worst lightning storm I had ever
experienced since moving to our current house about seven years ago. While the
storm pounded outside, a storm brewed inside our house as my wife had already
been having labor pains with our first child for over 24 hours. The only
problem was that her contractions had not yet grown close enough for the
hospital to admit her for delivering our baby. As I sat there timing the contractions,
I maintained a hope that God would somehow quiet the relentless storm by the
time I had to drive my wife to the hospital.
Unfortunately for my wife, it was three in the
morning before her contractions were a few minutes apart and we were able to
leave for the hospital. Fortunately for me, however, there happened to be a
break in the storm by that time. I thanked God repeatedly as we drove through
the soft drizzle on our way to the hospital.
Once we arrived at the hospital and went to the
maternity ward, they admitted us to one of the delivery rooms. Since this was
our first child, I honestly had no idea what to expect. Being that it was now
three thirty in the morning, I imagined our son would be born by around eight
in the morning. As a result, I called my parents so that they could get ready
and head toward the hospital, which was located about three hours away from
where they live.
To my surprise, my wife continued to have
contractions all day and the baby was not born until after ten that night! Even
though we were all exhausted, and I was suffering from a horrendous case of
Lyme disease which I had contracted from getting bit by a deer tic the previous
week, everything changed the moment our son was born. I think all of us forgot
about the pain and fatigue we felt at that moment, however, that is not why I
am telling you about this experience.
The reason I am telling you about the day my son was
born is because something I did not expect took place a few minutes after our
son was born. You see, the nurses had immediately taken him over to a small
table located under a heat lamp on the other side of the room. As they cleaned
him up and put a diaper on him, he continued to cry uncontrollably. Being a
first-time father, I really had no idea what I should do, but I instinctively
went over to him to try to help. As I approached his side, I held my finger out
and said, “It’s okay little buddy.” He instantly grabbed hold of my finger and
immediately stopped crying. He also became incredibly calm and didn’t made
another noise. I was shocked by the effect I had in the situation!
One of the reasons why this experience surprised me
so much is because I didn’t know my son would be able to recognize me at all. I
especially didn’t think him would recognize my voice because I imagined it must
have sounded very muffled when he was in his mother’s womb. However, it seemed
to me that he not only recognized my voice, but it seemed he also instinctively
knew I was his father. While I knew he would have a strong bond with my wife, I
didn’t expect him to have a bond with me as well.
The importance of a father in a child’s life became
even clearer to me over the following weeks. There were times when my wife had
been holding our baby for a long time and he suddenly became seemingly
inconsolable. On more than one occasion, I went over and picked him up from
within my wife’s arms to try to help out and our son stopped crying almost
immediately. It sometimes seemed as though he was just acting fussy as his way
of trying to communicate to use that he wanted to spend a little time with his
father at that moment.
In a certain sense, I began to realize that children
do not just want to also spend time with their fathers. The actually need it. I
think children need both of their parents to more easily maintain a
balanced emotional life.
The last statement I made reminds me of a time I was
getting on an airplane coming home from a preaching mission. There was a young
boy around the age of eight screaming and crying because he didn’t want to
leave his father. His parents had been divorced and he had flown to see his dad
but now had to go home to his mother. However, the boy didn’t want to leave his
dad because of how much he missed seeing him.
My reason for sharing these details with you is to
help bring a greater awareness. I would like all men to realize how important
they are in their children’s life. I think this detail is sometimes not
emphasized enough within the pro-life moment and life in general. Fathers, your
children need you. They need you to spend time with them. It is simply the way
God made us.
Before concluding, I will share a couple more
experiences I have had with my own son that affirm the idea that children truly
need to spend time with their father as well as their mother. For instance,
after our son was a few weeks old, I had to go away for a couple days. I talked
to my wife periodically while I was away, and she kept telling me how restless
our child had been. This continued up until the exact moment I walked in the
door upon returning from my trip. As soon as our son heard my voice, he was
quite. He then became even calmer when I held him in my arms.
The last story I will share to affirm everything I
have been saying is one that took place earlier today. I took some time off
from work to build an addition on our house to make more room for our child. As
I hung the drywall in the addition today, I could hear our son fussing all day
long. My loving, patient wife did all she could to calm him down but seemed
unable to do so. No matter what she tried, he just wouldn’t calm down.
When I had finished hanging the drywall, I came into
the living room to see my wife and our son. The first thing my wife said when I
entered the room was that nothing would work to calm him down. All of her
normal tricks that had always worked before seemed useless. After listening to
her, I picked up our child who was now two and a half month old and started
talking to him. He immediately calmed down and completely stopped crying. He
remained calm in my arms and then fell asleep within five minutes.
For all of you men with children out there, I want
to reemphasize your role as a father. While it is somewhat obvious that a woman
has a natural maternal bond with her children, you also need to realize that
there is a natural bond that your child has toward you. I encourage you to
share this message with as many fathers as possible, because many of them
simply do not realize or comprehend this. As a result, there are many men in
the world who do not set enough time aside to spend with their children. They need
to realize that their kids need more than for their father to simply provide
for them. They also need them to spend quality time with them.
As I conclude this short story, I want to thank you
for reading it and I hope you share this message, because I believe it is an
important message that many people need to hear and think about.
~
Sean McVeigh is the founder
of McVeigh Ministries, Inc., and travels to Churches, schools, and
organizations in cities, towns, rural settings, and just about any place
that invites him to share the Gospel message. McVeigh Ministries, Inc. also publishes
Catholic books that adhere to Sacred Scripture, Sacred Tradition, and
the Magisterium of the Holy Roman Catholic Church. All its publications are designed to inspire Catholics of all ages to not only
live their faith to the fullest, but also feel inspired, prepared, and
compelled to share it with others. Sean's new evangelization book will be published Fall, 2012.
http://www.catholicguestspeaker.com
God Moments III: True Love Leads To Life will be published Fall, 2012.
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